Major problems getting to sleep last night, to much shit on my mind, then when I did get to sleep lots of weird dreams. Anyways still managed to get myself off for a run this morning, I don’t particularly like running but its an exercise I can just do, I don’t have to go anywhere (apart from step out my font door), I enjoy the fresh air and scenery, I listen to loud cheesy music and mouth the words along pretending I am doing karaoke (this would never happen in real life as I have a terrible singing voice but I can dream on my runs), I am always glad I’ve done it even if I don’t always enjoy it.
I was thinking how long I’ve known something wasn’t right with my drinking and I think its been about 7 years, I mean thats just mad, who knows there is a problem there and to not have gotten rid of it in 7 whole years, I know a few of those years were denial years, then maybe a few attempting moderating years and then the last few I’ve been fighting to give up for good. My two longest stints in 3 years have been 4 months, which does’nt sound like much but felt like ages (a good ages not a bad ages) .
This time is different, this time I’m going for gold.